I got my jab. Eventually, a few days ago I got vaccinated. Whatever was in that vial is now part of me. There is no turning back.
I've never been particularly enthusiastic about the Covid vaccine. Not even because it was created quickly or because it is not fully tested. Somehow I just couldn't believe there was a need for it at all. Why? It does not give you full protection and does not last long, in which it resembles a condom. Covid will not disappear just like that. It will stay with us for a little longer. You gain temporary immunity from the vaccine, and you probably have to repeat the treatment after a year. This does not put the famous vaccine much higher than the regular, annual and voluntary flu jab - both remain vaguely ineffective. More disturbing to me has always been something else - simply trying to get millions of people vaccinated quickly, forcing them and convincing them that it is absolutely necessary. It is a gigantic investment. It is hard to imagine that the governments of all countries will repeat it for free every year, and if they will not, why start the whole thing at all?
The Covid vaccine is generally useful for several reasons. The main one is that it enriches those who produce and sell it. Second, it calms the public down. People think, here, we have been vaccinated, it is as if the lamb's blood was smeared on the doorposts, the Angel of Death would not come to us. We are promised that the return to normality is imminent, and that’s something everyone is waiting for. The fact is that the number of critical cases is temporarily reduced, allowing the health service to catch their breath, and a normal patient with pretentious leukaemia or cancer has a chance to be seen at last. We're easing up lockdown restrictions, and it is also easier to accept a stick if you have a carrot at the end of it. For example, a juicy carrot may be when you can eventually go somewhere, visit your family, or have a drink with friends in a pub.
In the UK, the vaccination programme is in full swing. More than 30 million people have already been done with the first dose. They keep jabbing and give you this little round sticker, God only knows what for. They'd better give a lollipop if they think you've been so damn brave. Honestly, I never wanted to be vaccinated. I have already had my Covid, probably. I can only guess from the symptoms that hit me like a sledgehammer at the end of August 2020. Although I was not tested then, because doctors decided to treat me for... gastroenteritis. I’ve been waiting patiently for my turn. The Necessary and the Needy were vaccinated first (frontliners and all the vulnerable), and they went down to fifties, to forties, and finally started on those younger than me. At that point I was almost positive I can make it. I figured out that when most of humankind would turn into brainless zombies, then I could form a Resistance and, just like John Connor, fight for the future of the human race. It did not work. They called, eventually, and arranged a visit for me and my wife, both at the same time. We could refuse, because anyone can. After such a refusal, you will get more reminders, but in the end they cannot force you, there is democracy and freedom, and everyone knows it. We agreed, because we know that we would be forced to do it anyway, and we didn't see any family for two years, and it would be nice to go somewhere, when it all ends or subsides. Besides, the place where we work opened to the public on April 12 and hundreds of hungry customers came to gasp, cough and snot at us, to touch everything and jump on us with a thousand stupid questions. It is wise to protect yourself.
We’ve been given the home-grown specific, Oxford-AstraZeneca, which is now being targeted by almost all of Europe, with some countries prohibiting it, and absolutely everyone having doubts. It is said that the vaccine is not very effective, that it can hit you with all sorts of side effects, and the recent top story is that it can cause blood clots. You can read about 30 cases, 9 of which ended in death, but no one said whether they were single cases of blockages in the veins or thrombosis and what kind of it. I do not know. The list of potential factors causing thrombosis is so extensive that virtually all of us should experience it sooner or later. Also, no one has ever proven that there is any connection between the vaccine and the above-mentioned cases of blood clots. For me, the only connection between the two is that one happened after the other. Using the same logic, my stomach was upset yesterday, and it did not hurt before, so you know, it must be because of the vaccine.A friend of mine has already had three flat tyres within two weeks of vaccination. My TV speakers went out, you know. The TV is almost 12 years old, but before the vaccine they were working fine, and now they are not working at all, so what, is it just a malicious coincidence? It is also worth mentioning that number 30 is a very small percentage of 30 million vaccinated only in the UK alone, everyone can check for themselves, a calculator is part of Windows, so what? Is it OK to save people or not?
The British remain loyal to Astra, with their innate national pride and the fact that they do not have to buy the vaccine because they brew it in their own backyard. Of course, they also know that this whole campaign is caused by post-Brexit trauma and aversion to everything British. In Poland, as I can see, the media campaign is also in full swing, although much more trust is placed here on God's intervention. I myself know some elderly people who, fearing Covid, rush to church whenever they can, believing that God will protect them. He will, or He will not, it’s a toss-up.
Jab itself was quick and painless. In fact, it was so quick that I don't know why so few people have been vaccinated so far. Imagine there are only two minutes per person, which is longer than it all takes. This means that one nurse in a day shift can vaccinate just over 200 people (minus two breaks and extra loo time). There are approximately 9,000 active GP practices in the UK, which gives you 2 million vaccinated daily. I'm only counting one nurse for one practice, and I'm not counting hospitals and other specialist facilities where you can also get the shot. It turns out that in a month you have the whole country vaccinated, including newborns, so it goes a little slower than it could, but it's still progress for sure. Oh, the nurse also said that I should drink plenty of water and, if anything, take paracetamol.
We went back home. I started to act fast, to organize things (it was my Saturday off and my wife was supposed to go to work), I hooted at everyone a little, but overall I was in a good mood. Despite everything, my spouse told me that if I didn't calm down, she would call the doctor and ask if they had had rabies injected in me by accident. I took two paracetamol tablets, my wife went to work, and I quietly spent the rest of the day playing with the kids and waiting for side effects to come. I was talking to people before, so I knew more or less what to expect. Numbness in the legs, high fever, flu-like symptoms. Plus a headache, bone aches and stuff. Some felt very bad for a few days, others didn’t really experience much. One friend was sure he had developed a blood clot, but he only figured it out when they started talking about it (they examined him thoroughly and found nothing, but he still thinks he has a blood clot, mainly because he feels a little uncomfortable in general). Back to the point: I felt great all day. Around 10 PM I started to feel a bit cold. This thing always haunts me before the flu or a cold. I call it "cold in the bones" which nests mainly in the legs and lower back. Nothing dangerous, two “cold & flu relief” type tablets (of any kind) and in the morning I wake up like new. I took my medicine and in the morning I did get up almost like new. I say "almost" for two reasons. First, my skin was hypersensitive to touch all day long. While bathing, I was irritated by the water and the sponge. It irritated me that the children hugged me and pinch me, even the touch of the shirt was unpleasant. Now for the second reason. I woke up in the middle of the night. There was a number 3 glowing red on the clock. I didn't sleep any more, I simply could not. I was rolling from side to side for a good four hours (the twins usually get up around 7) and there was this Rick Astley's song “Never Gonna Give You Up” stuck in my head. A rare nightmare. From time to time I do have bizarre dreams, but I seldom experience anything this oddly unpleasant. I wasn't able to shake it off, I was just fidgeting and sweating, tired, angry and the damn note was still there. This should be included in the official Oxford-AstraZeneca list of side effects, I believe.
Right now, a week after the vaccination, being in full mental capacity, I, Greg J. testify that I am more than fine. The way I feel is hard to describe. I wake up well rested and in a good mood, and I have a lot of energy throughout the day. The world is simply not enough. This feeling is somewhere in there, pulsating and building up and slowly breaking out of my chest, just like an Alien in a film. The Force definitely is with me. I feel like a Spider-man, ready to go, well, at least like that famous first vaccinated cyclist in Russia.
I think they might have given me something weird, I don't know, some nanites.
On the other hand, maybe it's because during the long national lockdown I re-discovered something I had lost, the ability to enjoy and appreciate the little things that happen to me every day?
Or maybe it’s Rick Astley?
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